Get Unstuck & Move Forward
A Holistic Approach combining Science & Heart-Centered Techniques Could Help
A Step in the Right Direction
First of all, let me begin by saying that it takes a great deal of courage to consider the possibility of Couples Therapy—it can be quite intimidating to imagine speaking to a complete stranger about your most intimate issues & feelings and hearing what your partner has to say, especially when you are not on the best of terms with them.
Yes, you will have to step out of your comfort zone. But this is a step in the right direction if …
- Your marriage has been stuck in a rut for a while now and you are feeling distant from each other
- There are frequent fights over the same topics and similar patterns of heightened tension & communication breakdown repeatedly
- You find yourself avoiding your partner by working late; are stressed anticipating another argument when you return from work
- You are newly married and are finding it difficult to adapt to each other —perhaps there are in-laws involved and you are finding it difficult to maintain family harmony
- There has been heightened stress in the marriage due to changed circumstances—such as a new-born, job change, illness etc.
- There has been an affair or infidelity which you are finding difficult to move past
- You feel like you are drifting apart, even though there are no arguments or fights
- Either of you is considering separation or divorce, and you want to give your marriage one last try
What To Expect
My therapy & counseling style is friendly, unhurried, respectful and is trauma-informed.
I use a combination of scientific, research-backed techniques such as Gottman’s Couples Therapy with Heart-Centered methods based on Mindfulness, Non-Violent Communication, Internal Family Systems and so on—personalized for the specific needs of each couple.
My goal is to make you independent by empowering you with the insight, understanding and practical tools you need to repair and strengthen your relationship as quickly as possible.
I follow a systematic process of Assessment, Evaluation & Intervention to ensure I have a full picture of the relationship dynamics and the underlying causes before we dive into doing the actual repair work.
- The Assessment will comprise a Joint Session of 90 minutes duration, in which I will enquire about the specific relationship issues you are facing, common areas of conflict, your relationship history and your relationship goals.
- Each of you will also individually complete the Online Gottman Relationship Checkup prior to this first joint session—it is a scientific, research based online assessment with over 300 questions that will give me a lot of information in a short amount of time, and thereby help me help you better and in a quicker timeframe.
- During the latter part of the Assessment Session, the last 30 minutes or so will be spent on sharing my evaluation with you, discussing your relationship goals & designing a customized therapy plan that would best suit your needs
- Following this if you decide to embark on Couples Therapy with me, we will usually begin with a 60 min, Individual Session with each of you separately, to understand your individual perspectives & challenges. I always do my best to maintain a neutral, unbiased attitude with an intention to truly understand each of your perspectives and to ensure you both heard.
- Thereafter, we will meet Jointly for focused therapy on areas that need critical attention & begin having Heart-Centred dialogues around your core issues to facilitate healing & repair. We may also meet Individually if you have opted for a Therapy plan with Individual sessions.
- Each session will end with practical takeaways for you to practice at home and homework for self-work and joint-work
- It is advisable to continue therapy on regularly for a few months to ensure old, unhealthy patterns of relating to one another are overwritten by new, learned attitudes and behaviours. This takes time and practice and if therapy is discontinued prematurely, the initial gains experienced may be lost and there may be a relapse.
For Couples Considering Divorce
If you or your partner have started considering divorce as a possibility, it is very normal to remain unsure and confused, especially if there are children involved. Neither of you wants to take a step you will regret later and the opinions and feelings of friends and family could be making the decision even harder. Being in this no-man’s land is probably one of the toughest times of your lives and I could help you both figure out what you really want to do through discernment counseling.
It is an opportunity to sort through your conflicting emotions, process any negative feelings such as guilt and fear and then re-evaluate your options. Do you really believe in your heart that divorce is the answer? Or, once the fog of confusion has lifted do you feel a spark of hope that the marriage is worth working on?
My goal in discernment counseling is to help you both recognize your truth individually and decide whether you want to:
- Make an all-out effort for three to six months to see if you can repair & build a marriage that will be fulfilling for both of you, or
- Separate or divorce
Marathon Therapy Intensive
I also offer the option of Marathon Couples Therapy over 2 to 4 consecutive days, 2.5 to 3 hours each day.
There is time to process past injuries that have never healed, and time to understand how these injuries have impacted the relationship. There is time to learn and practice new communication skills to help you have more authentic and honest conversations. There’s time to rebuild.
Marathon Therapy is also a good option if there is heightened tension and volatility in the relationship, with an urgent need to restore emotional stability.
Tara , we can't thank you enough! We are both back together after our separation as we could work things out between us on the basis of your analysis & guidance, we now know our limitations as a couple & are working to make our relationship better. We will have to say none of this would have been possible without your counseling. I hope couples in trouble find you & eventually find themselves. In fact, the questions in the Checkup Questionnaire made us think about ourselves & our lives ahead & had a lasting impact. Thank you again!
Deciding to do Couples Therapy with Tara was one of the best decisions of my life. Not only did I feel heard and understood for the first time in my life, she also made me realize my partner's emotional state. Couples Therapy requires both partners to work upon the suggestions given to them. Unfortunately, this was not the case with us. Though my husband and I are still living separately, Tara helped me find peace and patience to wait and work upon myself. I have a ten month old son and I am making the most of every day and travel alone with him — Tara played a very important role in helping me realize this hidden strength inside me.
